sumbum09

if i meet one more boy to tell me im just a friend im going to rip my heart out. im sick of being 'just the friend'. so i decided to change this, i asked some of my 'guy' friends and they said 'flirt more, dont be so chill' dont be so chill? do you want me to be a bitch. im 'seeing' this guy who weirdly enough has the same name as my brother, but i dont like this guy AT all. hes hot, oh boy is this guy a looker but that's not what im into. comes to my house the other day, sees some bananas on my counter, GRABS a banana and starts to jack off with it. pardon? are you kididng me right now are you seven? i call dayna up to come over because hes whack, we go to her house she invites stefan and brandon over who agree with me, somethings wrong with him. i have a hole in my jeans so he decides to finger me jans 'HAHA IM FINGERING YOUR JEANS RIGHT NOW' are you high? are you even thinking about what your doing. he walks me home and we kiss goodbye 'thats all i get' he actually said 'thats all i get' what the fuck are you asking me? would you like me to take your pants off and suck your dick in the middle of the street like who are you? i go home and im just weirded the fuck out and he goes to me on msn 'i would of liked to of made out more just putting it out there' well i would of liked it if you were to never come over in the first place but we dont always get what we want now do we?

but theres this boy... and this boy i have liked since last year, when i was dating my ex. he didnt have much friends, wasnt as goodlooking but i liked him. he had a good taste in music, we had so much in common and talked all the time. this year tho he cut all his hair off, all the girls started to notice him. but were still good friends and i want him :( hes perfect for me and i know it. i dont want to be just his friend, he tells me im his favourite person to talk to. hes my favourite person to talk to, plus he now turned into the hottest guy at school. crossing my fingers im more than just a friend to him.

I don't know what a friend is. But I know one of my so called "friends" go done it again. Being the stupid bitch she is, making everyone cry and everyone feel bad about themselves. Telling me I'm a bad person and I'm a loser for the people I hangout with? Sorry the people I want to hangout with aren't fake bitches like you. She tells me I'm moody, you are the only person who thinks that? You've lost a lot of friends, if two friends is a lot and I lost them because they didn't care about me at all.. they weren't exactly losing friends, just losing people who put me down. I hate fake people, who don't care about anyone but themselves. I don't care WHO my friends are. White, black, fat, skinny, popular, unpopular, rich, poor. I DONT CARE. And she does, and thats the only reason why she friended me in the first place. I haven't heard a single person say a good thing about that girl.. EVER. I just.. gah, I didn't say anything back other then 'okay if you dont want to be my friend, then dont' she says 'summer, seriously wake up' I just wanted to kick her right in the teeth. So here goes my top five today, my REAL top friends and why.

1. Mackenzie Smith- Mackenzie and I have been best friends since Grade 1, haven't always been together 24/7 but lately we have and I'm so glad for that. We never stopped talking, just didn't hangout. But me and that girl have been together through everything. Death of her sister and her mother's miscarriage. To my abuse with my father and depression. That girl and me have gone way back and she will always be my best friend, thick and thin. I love her. She's beautiful inside and out and very skinny and fragile looking but the strongest person I've ever met.

2. Pam Chana- Pam and I met eachother last year in Drama class. We clicked instantly, but we never hungout outside of school or lunch or anything because we had two totally different cliques. I guess I hungout with the bitchy sluttly popular girls. And she hungout with the chill group of girls. Lately I only have kept close with a couple of the 'bitchy slutty popular girls' the ones who really arent bitchy and treat me like a friend. (Who comes to the next girl) Me Pam and Mackenzie have been hanging out a lot lately, which I'm so happy about. I never have met anyone who makes me laugh so hard, we finish eachothers sentences and everything it's weird. She's a great person and friend and I love her to death.

3. Angel Adair- Angel and I met last year and we hungout in the same group and hungout side of school, we were good friends but it wasn't until the end of the school year and summer where we became pretty much bestfriends. Hanging out, smoking pot, getting drunk, not giving a fuck about what anyone thinks of us just living life to the fullest. This girl has gone through so much, and I love her to death he to is one of the strongest girls I've met. People think of her as popular, pretty, fake. But shes the least fake out of any  of those girls. She is real, amazing friend, emotions, life, character, and can make you laugh. And she does have a pretty sick name (Angel Dawn) and me (Summer Candy) so maybe thats why we get along so well.

4. Kristi Allaway- Kristi and I met in Grade 8, but never talked until Grade 9 where we became best friends almost instantly. Me and her rarely ever fight, she's funny and adorable and not like anyone youve ever met. She does hangout with the lets call them the 'bspg (bitchy sluttly popular girls)' but shes not slutty, shes not bitchy, shes just Kristi Allaway and I love her to death and back. She can put a smile on your face instantly and can make you laugh in a split second. Love her to death and will always be my bestriend.

5. Tubey (Alex Vandersluis)- Tubey and I met in Grade 7, and we became best friends instantly as well. He fell in love with me (haha) but he has always just been the friend. He's been there for me and always let me cry on his shoulder. He is one of the funniest guys youve ever met, though he can go a little bit over board with the sex jokes hes hilarious and unlike anyone youve ever met. He's not one of those guys I say are my best friend, they reallly are my best friend.

So those are my best friends. The bitch yesterday asked who they were, and there you go bitch those are my best friends:) Ones who truly give a shit about me, so you can go back to your bitchy ways, saying shit about everyone and just caring about no one but yourself.

Tell me about your friends I wanna hear:)

P.S. went to the doctors yesterday, have to snort that stuff up my nose (you know where you see losers in shows who snort a lot yeah that) and I have a puffer again oh and some more medication. Hahah

Two days ago was my friend Nicholas Robinson's funeral. He sadly killed himself. Once I went, everyone was crying, but I can't cry, it hasn't hit me that he's gone. I will get teary eyed, but I just can't cry. I went over to the pictures of him, and I always thought he bleached his hair but it was natural, I got emotional who knows why. I just can't believe such a loving human being is gone. He could make anyone laugh. One day I'll be like 'Nic leave me alone your're so annoying' the next day he comes up to me, and I'm looking a little down 'Summer is everything okay?' I mean what kind of person does that? Your mean to them but they're nice to you. When he killed himself, it made me realize be nice to everyone as this kid was. People were still rude to him, but he was still nice to everyone. He made everyone smile, and so many people are so heartbroken that this beautiful boy past away. Shaking hands with his mother was one of the hardest thing I think I'd had to do. Looking into this woman's eye's knowing that her precious baby died. At only 15. Everyone at the funeral was like 'let's just get high, lets do it for Nic, he would all want us to take a huge toke for him' and he would. I didn't, but a lot of my friends just left and got high for Nic. As much as I hated the kid, I loved him. RIP Nic Robinson 1992-2008

After my Friday exam, I met up with Jordan. I don't think I've smiled so much in my life. Seven months without talking. Seven months, every day I would think of him. Seven months and I still don't love him any less. I looked at his chocolate brown eyes and remembered the first day we met. It was at this place with a whole bunch of local bands playing. I swear it was like in the movies where all the music stopped, everyone was doing there whole thing and time stopped completely. I don't believe at love at first site, but it was infatuation at first site. He remembered everything we went through. We talked about everything. My ex, his new girlfriend. Us. He apologized for everything, we were sitting so close, and I couldn't wipe that smile off my face. That smile that only he could give me. How could I still be head over heels for a guy for two years? He cheated on my eight times. I asked him 'how many times did you cheat on me' he said I erased that part of my life. I know hes not sincere, I know he's not a great guy. But god I just can't help it. His cheeks, his lips, his eyes, his arms, his stomach, his legs, everything about him. I remember christmas, he sat outside in the rain, he wrote me a song and played and sang it to me on his guitar. The most beautiful thing ever. We met we held eachother like we were never going to hold eachother again, he kissed my head and told me he loved me. Love. I hate love, I hate him. How can you love and hate someone all at the same time? I just want to get over him but at the same time I don't. We can never get back together, his parents hate me, mine hate him, we're not allowed to be seen talking or we both will get suspended (I punched him in the face and got suspended) if my friends saw me talking to him they wouldn't be my friend and same goes for him. I love him. There are a million reasons why I should hate him. I can't find a single reason why to love him, but I do. Unconditionally, flawlessly, madly, passionatly in love with him.